Cuban Mix feelings. / Sentimientos encontrados.



                                                          Melia Cohiba Hotel, Cuba.






                                                                    Cuban man.



                                      
Sometimes I feel shame when I find myself speaking in English to Cubans, but later I look for reasons and there they are.

It seems that the years I spent living in hotels in Havana with my fiancé and being constantly asked by security for my identification (Cubans were not allowed to stay in the hotels) those experiences took a toll on me. In some way I was not in trouble if I looked like a foreigner in my country. My Cuban looks were not accepted in the Melia Cohiba hotel pool; I went on to bleach my hair and speak English so I could be free of harassment. This worked.

There are other reasons too; I grew to feel uncomfortable whenever a Cuban man approaches me. Their conversation very often was of a sexual nature with innuendos and it could vary from nice to very rude. I lost my taste for that type of communication which is very much part of Cuban culture.